April 23, 2012 by Gail
The House of Fielding on a chilly Monday evening
You know what comes after a Mega-Shooting Weekend, two weekends in a row? Hardcore Editing Week, that’s what. I’m buried up to my eyeballs in RAW files waiting to be processed. So while you are probably disappointed in Old Man Winter making an unexpected return to the GTA, I’m not! (I half-Bixi’ed, half-walked home in that windy mess, too.) I will be planted in this very spot at the computer screen for days and nights to come.
Posted in Gail at Large, Xena & Beano | | 5 Comments
March 27, 2012 by Gail
makes you want to buy a Vespa
Now that the weather has turned back to the final bite of winter from a temporary bout of spring, a scooter’s looking rather appealing the past couple of days. I’m not getting one, but it’s nice to check out all the different models around the downtown core as I’m walking home.
In other news, I have finally written an update to the password-protected Plan for Turning 40. (Password will be emailed.) I will still continue writing a public version of my plans for turning 40, like the birthday trip.
Daylight Savings Time means I get light on the way home
cross-roads... get it?
Posted in cameraphone, Turning 40 Series | | 1 Comment
March 13, 2012 by Gail
I watched this TED Talk by Susan Cain on Sunday from the comfort of my sick bed with much fascination. Well, as much fascination as one can muster watching a phone screen lying down, sideways.
Then I read the comments, all 314 and counting (as of Sunday). I usually avoid comments as they hardly add value to the article/video/presentation, but in this case many of them were thoughtful and articulate. Susan Cain attempts to condense into 20 minutes an explanation for what introverts offer to the world, which she argues is overlooked because they are drowned out by extroverts. A self-admitted introvert, Cain tries to dispel the myth that introverts are antisocial or misanthropic, rather, they find energy in solitude versus people and recharge in nature, not crowds.
I have no problems with crowds at all (hey, I went alone to Times Square in New York to celebrate New Year’s Eve with 600,000 people in 2002), but I always prefer small groups or ideally, one-on-one conversations. In a group, I’m usually the listener although I have no problem speaking, but won’t speak unless/until I have something to contribute. But when I am passionate about a topic, it’s hard to shut me up…
The part of Cain’s talk that completely resonated with me is that introverts greatly dislike small talk. Oh boy, do I ever! The idle chit chat at gallery openings and conferences and receptions drive me bananas. I’ve only ever attended three Couchsurfing weekly meetups since 2007 because it felt like I was repeating the same five-minute introduction and answering the same questions over and over. In fact, I took the anti-small talk attitude to the extreme a few weeks ago with someone I’d just met to watch basketball. Poor guy. (To qualify, English isn’t his first language.) While we were walking to a restaurant, he had a very random series of questions and the fact that I was starving drove me to the edge:
*silent walking*
V: “How much rent do you pay?”
I stopped dead in the street: “What kind of question is that?”
V: “I don’t know. It’s just a question.”
Me: “It’s not a meaningful question when you don’t know what part of the city I live in, how large my place is, or if I share with others.”
V: “What’s wrong with the question? It’s a starting point.”
Me: “You can do better than that! Tell me what you really want to know, I can tell you what question to ask to get the information you want and we can skip all the crap in-between.”
V: “I don’t really need to know anything. But is there any harm in asking the question?”
Me: “Yes there is! It makes me not want to answer any more questions! Conversation is an art form, not a bunch of filler questions to kill silence!”
Over the Friday night din of the beer/sausage hall at Wvurst, I apologized profusely for biting his head off (in extreme hunger, ha!) and tried to explain why I got so cranky about his innocent questions. In the end, after food was consumed and the hunger pangs subsided, everything was alright again but I could scarcely believe my own outburst. I’m not prone to outbursts. But this is how much I loathe small talk — I’ll go to practically any lengths to avoid it!
The core of Cain’s talk is that this world is designed for extroverts, but the introverts have much to say — if only the extroverts would let them say it in their own way, in their own time. One of her calls to action is to stop the group work (have I mentioned my dislike for group work?), or at least let people formulate ideas individually first, thereby avoiding groupthink.
The messages we get as children — especially Filipinos, I daresay — is that outgoing is BEST. That being introverted means there is something wrong with you, that you are not properly socialized, that you have to work harder to be more like the gregarious children to get anywhere in life. So-called bookish, quiet kids make their Filipino parents worry that they will never have grandchildren.
In the (hundreds of) comments under the video, someone mentioned that introversion is not a set of behaviours, since anyone including extroverts may exhibit these behaviours from time to time. Rather, to be introverted is an orientation.
Many creative people are introverts. Introspection and time spent reflecting and thinking is necessary to create. Someone else mentioned in the comments that plenty of actors are actually introverted people who love performing, but they prefer to spend their personal time alone or with a few close people. That same person suggested that when introverts are actively interacting with other people they feel like they’re acting/performing. I found this very interesting.
I spent a lot of time thinking about this talk (how’s that for introverted) because I felt it explained a few of my own tendencies:
At first I thought it was just stubbornness (that’s my mother talking), but I believe it’s much more than that. Part of knowing yourself, to be an individual, is to develop your ideas independently, without comparing yourself to other people. You have to be alone with your thoughts to absorb, process, and analyze. It takes time to think things through, and quality thinking happens without the self-consciousness that comes from having people around all the time. (The operative words being all the time.)
In spite of all the solitude, my love for the computer and the internet, I make a concerted effort not to let my online life overtake my Real Life. The last thing I want to have is an online persona, to have someone read my words then meet me and be disappointed that I’m different in person. That would be truly awful. I want the Best Me to be me at large, not behind a computer!
Posted in Culture + Society, Gail at Large, Videoclips | | 4 Comments
March 5, 2012 by Gail
Burnham Park, Baguio City, Philippines
I turn 40 years old this year, and will continue with my annual tradition of celebrating my birthday in a new country. I have a travel plan, but it probably won’t solidify until a month before. And knowing myself, I may change my mind! For now, the plan is Israel.
But that’s not the biggest news. As 2012 is a milestone year, I’m taking my birthday plans one step further. For now I can only call it The Plan — in title case, to distinguish it from the travel plan.
The one very minor downside is that, due to the nature of what I’ll be doing, I cannot divulge The Plan until it happens (or when I know it can’t happen). There are many stages to The Plan, which I’ll be writing about behind a password, and when the time comes, I’ll remove the password and the posts will be public.
I still haven’t decided who to give the password to, but I won’t be offended if you ask for it. There may a delay in receiving it as The Plan is rather complicated and I’m still working out who can know about it. As of this writing, only one person knows.
Cryptic? Yes. But when all is revealed you will understand why the initial secrecy.
Posted in Gail at Large, PWP, Turning 40 Series | | 5 Comments
March 4, 2012 by Gail
I arrived home from the “Count of Monte Cristo Dinner” in the wee hours and decided to try and take some photos with Xena in costume, which is more difficult than it sounds. I don’t have a remote control for the camera and the tripod lives in the back of the car (and I’m too tired/lazy to go back outside and fetch it), so I have to use the self-timer. See how big the feather is in the hat? Not easy to get in a photo, hold the cat, start the self-timer, and assume the position. There’s a whole lot of guesswork.
Dinner photos forthcoming…
Posted in Critters + Creatures, Gail at Large | | 4 Comments
January 24, 2012 by Gail
Glasgow, August 1999 with Joe (film scan)
After digging out my scanner to lend to someone and testing it to make sure it still worked, I decided to scan a few photos while it was plugged in to my computer. I do not recommend doing something like this when you’ve got lots of worked piled up, because it’s an inevitable time-sink. The ultimate distraction. You get sucked into looking at old photos and the next you know, hours have passed. Yikes! But I can think of much worse ways to spend time.
Anyway, the photo above was taken in Glasgow in the summer of 1999. (That trip was legendary — oh, the stories! In fact, it came up again when I was in England in November. Remind me to tell you in person one day, I can’t write about it on the internet.) My godson Joe was a year old in this picture, and this is him now, more than a dozen years later…
England, November 2011
One thing I noticed while looking at my old point-and-shoot photos is how terrible they are in so many ways: bad composition, poor lighting, out-of-focus, no focal point, colours washed out, the list goes on. Most of them are not even worth scanning, I just like to look at them. But that’s the reason why I let my clients pick the photos they want to print — because people choose photos for emotional value not for technical value, while a photographer can’t help but see the technical merits or mistakes (unless it’s their own photos, in which case the emotional values kick in).
It’s also interesting to see how time marches on for technology, since digital cameras weren’t around when my godson was a baby — everyone was shooting with film cameras. Now everyone is shooting with digital cameras and film is getting rare to the point of near extinction.
Posted in Ancient History, film photography, Gail at Large, portraiture, Travel | | No Comments
January 10, 2012 by Gail
seen while walking home on Wellington Street
I actually had a New Year’s Resolution for 2011, just one: to go on a date. My first thought was that I blew it, I don’t remember any dates, but after some thought I would say it was open to interpretation. My second thought is that if *I* am not aware that it’s a date, then it’s not a date…
Moving right along…
On my way to Montreal for New Year’s, I started digitally jotting down a bunch of notes for a Year in Review for 2011, which got me to thinking about things I’ve been doing in 2011 that I want to continue into 2012… which I promptly forgot about until the other day when I read the same over at Chookooloonks, and there Karen links to Erin doing the same. I’m sure there are others.
There are goals and then there are things you want to maintain, the non-goals, but still rather important — after all, they were once goals, and if you drop them, then they end up in the goals list again. We’ve all said it before, with a pang: “I used to do such-and-such…”
Anyway. I resolve to continue in 2012:
Posted in cameraphone, Fave, Gail at Large, gailatlarge.com | 2 Comments
December 24, 2011 by Gail
Bento's Private Reserve
I picked up my car from the shop this evening, where the mechanics are Portuguese. To my surprise, the grumpy old guy emerged from the back of the shop with a bottle of wine and wished me a merry Christmas.
He: “Do you like Portuguese wine?”
Me: “Um, I don’t know. But I’ll try it and let you know.”
He: “Now you’re in training… enjoy our wine.”
I think it’s hilarious that the mechanics also have their own wine label.
This is my third bottle of gifted wine in a week, and I have no plans to drink any of them, just re-gift them to other people.
Posted in cameraphone, Food + Drink, Gail at Large | 1 Comment
December 20, 2011 by Gail
… is over for now. I’ve been living in Toronto for nearly six years and hadn’t found a single stylist who uses this technique which I find works best for my hair, so I gave up asking.
Recently, a new salon opened up in my neighbourhood and I thought I’d try again. I went in last week to inquire and found only one person uses a straight blade (of course, he would be the most expensive), so I got it done today. It usually takes a week after a cut for my hair to calm down again — until then maybe I’ll wear a hat — and then we’ll see how it behaves.
straight blade cut
Posted in cameraphone, Gail at Large | | 3 Comments
December 14, 2011 by Gail
I was digging around for something and came across my stash of documents, which got me thinking of the travel meme I did last week, which got me to dig out my passports. You know how it goes.
Some mugshots over the years, beginning with the first one from the Philippines (with the name I stopped using after leaving Winnipeg), which I only have a photocopy of because (if I recall correctly), I left it at my friend’s house in Germany way back in 1994 and that was the end of the trail. They moved out of that house in Leverkusen to their weekend house in Aachen when my friend’s mum fell off a horse, had a stroke, and his dad took early retirement to take care of her. I lost contact with my friend while he was preoccupied with his PhD in veterinary science. Maybe one day he’ll find this blog and tell me he found my childhood passport amongst his stuff! (The internet’s good for nostalgia.)
Maybe you can still make out that it’s me. In my brother’s passport, he is wearing an identical outfit. We look like little matching prisoners. My dad wrote that my occupation was a minor. Let me tell you, being a minor is tough work. So is writing out my place of birth.
If you ever saw my birth certificate from the Philippines, you would think I was at least a hundred years old. It looks like it belongs in a museum, with old-fashioned typeface on onion skin paper. I’m surprised it hasn’t disintegrated yet. For my parents’ race, they are both listed as “Brown”. I’m not kidding! What on earth is the “Brown” race? Box #23 is “Legitimate” Yes or No. The entire back of the birth certificate is “Affadavit To Be Accomplished In Case Of An Illegitimate Child”. One day I’ll scan it, for now I’m just shaking my head.
my first passport
So here we have all the passports since then, the latest one expiring next year. The first one looks like I just came from a squash match, but I probably did — I played squash almost every day at work. Looks like 1997 was the only time I paid attention to my hair. Apparently my eyebrows were attacked by a pair of tweezers in 2002 and I probably hadn’t had a haircut in over a year. By 2007 new passport regs had kicked in and as a nation we slid back to photo technology circa 1999. Note the funky new maple leaf by the words ‘passport’, though.
The current one also has a really fake-looking picture, ironically, despite all the newfangled security measures — including the one where the passport holder is not allowed to smile.
passports, age 18 to 39
Canadians like to complain about the cost and hassle of a five-year passport since we are pretty much alone in this world of 10-year passports. However, good news for you people: Passport Canada will be issuing electronic passports in 2012 and offering a new 10-year option.
Personally, I like starting a fresh book every five years and renewing my picture. After all, my address has changed with every passport, but my next passport will be the very first one with the same address as the previous. Amazing!
Below is an old International Driver’s License, which I’ve only ever used once when some young (and crazy) Italians demanded I show it after my rental car bumper touched their bumper in Geneva and they wanted to make a claim against my insurance company. They wouldn’t accept that my rental car was covered under fleet insurance rather than an individual policy number and took it upon themselves to write down every single number of every single document I had. My theory is that one of them borrowed her mum’s car without asking, went joyriding in Switzerland with a couple of friends and now had to explain why there was a chip in the bumper paint. Meanwhile, every 14th car in Geneva has a side mirror held together by tape, scratches on the door or a dented bumper. (In Italy that would be every other car.)
international driver's license and citizenship card
The photo below the International Driver’s License photo is my citizenship card. I had this picture taken ducking inside during a snowstorm and it was so blustery my hair was out of control. I even look like I have a widow’s peak. Of course, this would be the picture for a card that doesn’t expire, so I’m stuck with it. Typical.
I also had to wait three months for the appointment to get the citizenship certificate renewed, and I was going to make that appointment by hell or high water! Consequently, I guard it even more closely than my passport since it is the ONLY document that shows I’m a Canadian citizen if my passport ever gets lost or stolen. I can’t get another passport without it. Two cards previous to this one was replaced in Calgary in 1991, where I had to borrow my friend’s car to drive from Banff to take the oath of citizenship again! Long story…
Posted in Ancient History, cameraphone, Gail at Large, Raconteurism | | 6 Comments
Copyright © 2012 Gail Edwin-Fielding
