(Apologies in advance for the crappy video quality, but I haven’t found a better version yet.)

I arrived home after 11pm, my eyes at half-mast after a long day and a meeting in Oakville, not knowing what to do first. I’m overjoyed and actually a bit stunned with how positive the outcome of the meeting turned out to be, but I’m also a little brain-dead. So I ended up reading a discussion in a wedding photography forum, clicked on this link, and laughed at how ludicrously true it is… if you’ve got 4 minutes and 12 seconds to spare, I think it will make you laugh, too.

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I do fancy myself a bit of a DIY person:

Hmmm, there’s a Gail out there that’s giving the rest of us a bad name. Either that or it’s me.

Obviously a Google cry for help, but I contributed nothing towards a solution. I just told some stories about locking myself out of the apartment. (Albeit three times!)

I could’ve sworn I saved more keyword search screen shots than this over the past six weeks or so, but it was all I could find. One of these days I’ll post the latest round of nutty random text messages.

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Excuse Me?
What’s Going On In Wisconsin?

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I arrived home after midnight from the wedding bearing cake. A huge piece of wedding cake with — get this — peanut butter! The top two layers were Ferrero Rocher (yum yum) and the bottom layer was flavoured with peanut butter, something I’ve never had before. Although I was full from dinner I made some room for cake. There’s always space for (more) dessert!

OOF, I’m beat. That was a wedding to remember — I was quite taken with the orthodox ceremony. I’ve downloaded all the photos and finished backing them up, and now I will sleep the sleep of the dead. I’ve got a “themed” dinner tomorrow, and all I want to do before then is vegetate.

Video for today: I’m on a Bill Cosby run. Here’s his comedy segment called “chocolate cake for breakfast”

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I’m posting on the fly again, because I’m working to another deadline tonight and I want to get more than three hours of sleep (which is what I had last night, but at least I finished that job). I wanted to post this photo of the Vietnamese lady working at the salon because she sure looks happy for someone who works on people’s feet. Feet are pretty nasty, if you ask me. That’s the only time I’ve ever had a pedicure and it could be that my photo timing was good, but I can’t take that sort of credit — not this time. I’m told by the regulars that the ladies who work there smile and joke on a regular basis, and I hope they get tipped accordingly because laughter is the best kind of contagious there is.

The video for today isn’t music this time, it’s classic Bill Cosby… if you haven’t laughed yet today, this should get you started!

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I have a Jewish mother-in-law, this video made me laugh…

(Some humour was in order — I couldn’t bear looking at the broken lens anymore!)

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Say no to drugs, kids!

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A mom friend emailed this to me as a WMV file, but I thought I could find it on YouTube and embed it instead of hosting it here. (Ah, blogging is so much easier than it was back in 2002!) She’s got some pipes, this lady!

Whether you’re a parent or a kid (and aren’t we all?), may this song — and lyrics — add some amusement to your Wednesday… or whatever day you read this.

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It’s a busy Tuesday, so for now I’m sharing a bit of humour with the cat people out there (Helma, I think you’ll like this one!), sent to me from the staff of Mr. B.

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth  and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding  pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.  Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.  Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch.  Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in cheese.
2. Toss it in the air.

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And secondly, The Corrigan Brothers offer up irrefutable evidence that there’s no one as Irish as the 44th President of the United States (JFK was the 35th):

Well, in any case, Obama will be adding some much-needed colour (green?) to the Big White House for at least the next four years. It’ll be interesting to see what kind of political satire emerges in the meantime.

The karaoke version is here if you want to know what the heck they’re singing.

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