Obviously a set-up*.

However, it was the night before my wedding, and it was a hotel room.

Not my corset, though. More on this later.

*The closest thing to a still life shot I’ve done in months.

I should be in bed, I know. But I felt compelled to write a little placeholder post for now. It’s been rather hectic around here, to say the least.

The good news: IT’S OFFICIAL! WE GOT MARRIED!

The not-so-good news: David was nauseous and ill in a wheelchair through the ceremony, and was taken to the Emergency Room by his Best Man right after our vows and ring exchange. He was admitted, hooked up to an IV, and has been in the hospital since. David’s in much better shape today, but will remain in the hospital until he’s well enough to go home. More on this later.

The wedding itself was witnessed by a small group of family and friends, and the whole experience brought many to tears… including me. I was proud of David for soldiering on despite his condition so we could be married on our special day, October 1, exactly one year from the day we met in New York. It was difficult under the circumstances, and it took some time, but I found strength in David’s resolve and we got through the ceremony.

We are now Mr. and Mrs. Fielding!

After talking to David, I’ve decided not to post any photos of us because we don’t have any together as husband and wife — David went to the ER right away and there wasn’t an opportunity.

So, for that and other reasons, I’ll post only select photos of everything else at the wedding and when David’s feeling better we can get dressed up and take proper wedding photos of us then.

I’ll close for now with our wedding vows, which we’d written ourselves. We’d planned on memorising them, but in the days leading up to the wedding David became too ill, so on the afternoon of the wedding I asked the minister to read them for us and we’d repeat.

D: I pledge to take you, Gail, as my constant friend, my faithful partner; my wife.
G: I pledge to take you, David, as my constant friend, my faithful partner; my husband.

D: I promise that wherever you and I (and Hugh!) are together, that will be home, and I will strive to make it a happy one.
G: I promise to make our home one of comfort and warmth, for us and for our loved ones.

D: I promise to support you in your hopes and aspirations, as we continue to grow and learn, and explore all that life has to offer.
G: I promise to encourage you, and work with you, to help build a future together as a family.

D: And most of all, I promise to always love you; with all my heart, without reservation or judgement, as endless as the sky.
G: And I promise to always love you, as yourself, like no other, and to celebrate life by your side.

(RINGS)

D: And as a symbol of my pledge, and of our lives being woven together as one, I give you this ring; like you, unique in all the world.
G: And I give you this ring, like our marriage, created by and for the two of us.

taking a breather
[photo by gail on the web]

Gumpa’s been slaving away again today in the yard, and it’s looking pretty spiffy. I’ve put one coat of varnish on the dining room chairs (will do the rest next week), and the inside of the house is looking somewhat more respectable. Dad even took a load of stuff to Salvation Army, so things are moving in the right direction, at least.

David went to Mercy Hospital for his MRIs this afternoon, and he’ll get a phone call from the doctor about the results in the morning before he goes to chemotherapy.

Tried on the wedding dress again (whew, it still fits), and saw my veil for the first time (it was made in Vancouver after I got here).

A part of me still finds it hard to believe we’re getting married in just a few days. I wrote my vows the other night, and we went over the program order with the minister this evening.

I have some cleaning yet to do, then it’s up early to go to New York to pick up Lucy from JFK. Melissa and GMP arrive by car sometime in the evening, so we’ll have a full house tomorrow night.

Water colour and ink on vellum
Jerusalem or Istanbul, dated 1793-94 (Hebrew calendar 5554)
Royal Ontario Museum, Toronto

A Jewish marriage requires a written contract stating the obligations of the husband toward his wife. It also gives the amount of money due to the wife in the event of a divorce.

This contract states the conditions in the left-hand panel. Both sides were signed by the same three witnesses, using unusual cryptic designs as signatures which could not be imitated easily. One takes the form of a quadruped.

I took this photo back in early July when I was in Toronto. At the time I was thinking of doing some research on Jewish wedding traditions to see if we could incorporate some elements into our wedding. There was a small exhibit in the Royal Ontario Museum dedicated to Jewish culture, but the lighting made photography more than a little challenging, so I took only a few photos.

This afternoon our officiating minister and his wife came by to discuss the ceremony and do some planning. David and I had been tossing ideas back and forth last night about our vows that would tie in our original theme (Art Nouveau), and we wanted to run them by Bob and Sue. Maybe I shouldn’t get too detailed at this point — we want to keep it a surprise and some attendees will be reading this — but suffice to say the spirit of conventional wedding vows remains intact, but the form they take will differ. Vague, I know, but I’ll publish the vows after the wedding and all will be revealed. I’ve never seen anyone do it this way, but as soon as the idea materialised in my head I knew I wanted to do it.

This afternoon’s meeting was very productive: we formulated a basic order of proceedings, timing, etc. There will only be 16 people attending in total, so the atmosphere will be much more intimate than with the original numbers of guests.

Today I spoke to my dad and he said their flight yesterday went smoothly, so all’s well on the home front in Maine. Dad and Melissa flew from Vancouver shortly after 8am, stopped for a few hours in Minneapolis, and arrived in Boston, where they were greeted by GMP (Jean), the one-lady welcoming committee. A little birdie told me Dad drove part of the way home because he wanted to test drive the PT Cruiser. Shameless!

I’ll see my dad on Sunday night, when he arrives in Scranton nearly 12 hours after leaving Maine. It sounds rather cruel to subject him to such a long bus ride after a long flight from Vancouver to Boston, but my objective was to send him point-to-point. Best to keep things simple, especially when everything else… isn’t.

Civil War Monument,
[photo by gail on the web].

Civil War Monument
Courthouse Square, Scranton

After David’s first modified radiation treatment this morning, we took care of the most important errand of the day: getting our marriage license. (Or licence, if I were still in BC.)

We parked at Courthouse Square, which was buzzing with lunchtime activity. Inside, after a security check, we found the Marriage Licensing office on the third floor amidst what appeared to be ongoing renovation — cables were hanging out of the ceiling.

All our paperwork was in order, but it took the clerk twice as long to enter my information versus David’s… I had to spell everything out:

Birthplace: Zamboanga del Sur, Philippines

She couldn’t get that to fit in one field. The other fields, which included my parents’ birthplaces and occupations, were equally long and had to be spelled out.

Then there was the section on previous marriages, which gave pause. Click, click, click.

But the one question the clerk asked that really stopped the show was:

“Are you related in any way?”

We had to laugh! She looked a bit sheepish asking us after entering in data from the Philippines and Canada, but we knew she was required by law to ask the question.

“What’s the restriction for relation, anyway?” I asked.

“You can’t marry your first cousin, but second cousin is OK,” she responded. “It’s different in every state. In New York, for example, you can marry your first cousin.”

We were incredulous. “Really!”

“Oh yes, there are all sorts of combinations… they should really use a family tree to make it easier to show instead of having to read it all out.”

David and I were discussing this prospect when I turned to the clerk and asked her if close relatives actually come in to try to get a marriage license.

“Oh yes,” she said earnestly. “All the time!”

*cue music from Deliverance*

Radisson - Lackawanna Station

In case anyone is wondering, the wedding is still on for October 1, but scaled down and modified to make things easier for us.

I moved the venue from the Tripp House to the Radisson - Lackawanna Station.
- it’s a beautiful and historic building
- it’s near the house
- if David feels tired, he can rest upstairs (Tripp House doesn’t have sleeping rooms)
- I don’t have to deal with food & beverage vendors
- the restaurant (Carmen’s) has a good reputation
- I don’t have to decorate

We’re only having a fraction of people we’d originally planned for — David’s immunity is too low. Some family members and friends in the wedding party, plus some friends from Europe who’d already made plans to come. Maybe 15 of us in total.

There will only be a short ceremony, followed immediately by a dinner. No reception, no formalwear, no wedding cake, no photographer. That will all be saved for next year, whenever David’s feeling well again.

We’re postponing our planned honeymoon to Europe until after next year’s receptions. For now, I’m looking for something along the lines of a scenic rail trip on the East Coast. Historic. The autumn foliage would look fantastic from an old train, but I haven’t found anything suitable yet. Suggestions/recommendations most welcome!

The past few days have been to-and-fro, so herein lies a summary.

First of all, Breigh is wondering where her package went, and so are we. Today marks the FIFTH day that David and I have tried to track it down. I was unsuccessful Saturday and Sunday, David inquired on Monday, I navigated the intestinal corridors yesterday and came up empty-handed, then David returned again today:

New Schedule and Purloined Package

We don’t understand why it’s been so difficult to track down this package. Volumes of mail and such come into the hospital, are we just the victims of bad luck here? Or, does efficiency and organisation not reach subterranean levels? (The mail room/receiving department is in a corner of a maze that is the basement.)

David made contact with the manager this afternoon, who says he’s investigating. At least David found out who T. Lydon is — it’s a guy in the mail room, not a nurse. I think nurses have more sense!

In other news:

Monday

- called some friends in Europe in the morning
- decided to scale down the wedding
- decided to cancel the receptions here and in Vancouver
- will try and book hotel closer to the house for a small ceremony and dinner Oct 1
- drove David to radiologist to they could mark up his body
- futile trip to the hospital #3 (for package)
- David’s appetite finally kicks in after I tempt him with lunch at Circle’s in Wilkes-Barre
- we go to David’s office for the first time after his diagnosis
- we talk to our immigration lawyer about my visa issues
- we try and boost our spirits with the bodacious-as-ever Margaret Cho performing her latest show Revolution on Netflix DVD.

Tuesday

- futile trip to the hospital #4
- I enter the time warp that is the Coney Island Texas Weiner lunch counter
- stop in at the Radisson - Lackawanna Station to try and book a small room for our scaled-down wedding ceremony and dinner
- e-mailed vendors in Vancouver to cancel October 8 reception, and try to hold onto our deposits to book next year
- David’s radiologist warns: ‘No spicy food, no alcohol’, so I make him tandoori chicken
- our comic relief via Netflix continues, with Jerry Seinfeld’s documentary, Comedian.

Wednesday

- a morning phone call from the radiologist requests us to come in today instead of Friday for radiation equipment prep, radiation begins early tomorrow morning instead of Monday
- futile visit to the hospital #5, but this time a manager is involved
- I go to Wegman’s to get *REAL FOOD* (fresh lychees, longans, wasabi peas, brown basmati rice, Summerfresh humus, crystallized ginger, ginger tea, all-natural ginger beer, all-natural raspberry ginger beer, goat cheese, and more…)
- we receive cute pre-school artwork from the M’s via the post
- we’re both tired, and have to be up early… can we make it through the documentary Fog of War without falling asleep?

We’re supposed to get married in six weeks, but I think this is as good a time as any to wear our wedding rings.

David designed them himself, using the stones from his late grandmother’s ring (which holds both her wedding and engagement stones, plus his mother’s, 7 in all). They bring us familial comfort while David is in the hospital having chemotherapy and extensive testing done (bone and brain scans, etc.). This is a critical time, as this type of cancer has an alarming rate of spread and early treatment will make all the difference in the world.

We were assigned the best oncologist in the area (thank you FV for your referral), and we both felt utmost relief at how quickly the doctor secured a bed for David. I feel so much better knowing that David is getting immediate attention, but of course at the same time it’s unnerving because the urgency means he’s under very serious threat of cancer spreading to other parts of his body. In the seven days between the biopsy, the diagnosis, and the visit with the oncologist, David’s symptoms intensified and until today he’s only been treated with over-the-counter and prescription medicine to alleviate the pain. At least now he’s getting therapy to shrink the tumour and not just painkillers. At the oncologist’s office we were briefed by a nurse on chemotherapy and what types David will be given, I was given a booklet on chemotherapy, and also a book about lung cancer. The oncologist was everything we could expect in a specialist and we have confidence from our meeting with him (and other sources) that David is getting the best care possible.

For his workmates and other friends reading this site who are local to northeastern Pennsylvania, David is in Room 920 (9th Floor) until Friday or Saturday if you have time to visit (visiting hours are until 8:30pm):

Mercy Hospital Scranton
746 Jefferson Ave
Scranton, Pennsylvania 18501
T: 570-348-7100

David has a private room with a telephone, but he also has his mobile phone if you’d like to call him. He can also read e-mail on his phone. If you’d like to send an e-mail, it’s his full name with no spaces at verizon dot net (to avoid spambots). I’ll be in and out of the hospital every day, but I’ll take photos and post updates when I can.

I took this photo on July 13. It was on a whim, with the vague idea of using it for a post about the clock ticking towards our wedding date and hoping that USCIS will come through for us in time.

October 1 - wedding in Pennsylvania
October 8 - reception in Vancouver

We’re still waiting to hear from USCIS as to the status of David’s petition — the first part of the application process for my fiance visa. There’s more to the story, but we’ll save it for a dinner party or something (remind me then).

It feels like our fingers and toes have been crossed all summer. We had one BIG hurdle in the spring. The next hurdle was David’s petition to USCIS, which is currently underway. The next hurdle is my interview at the U.S. Consulate in Vancouver (which will, to a large degree, determine when I return West).

Never in a zillion years would I have imagined we’d have a health hurdle, too. David was feeling under the weather for a while now, and he wasn’t getting better. But a TUMOUR???

I’d been bugging David to go to the hospital because he wasn’t getting any relief from what his doctor had been prescribing thus far. We’d figured maybe it was bacterial/viral/stress-related, the symptoms would disappear over time, and in the meantime it was just a matter of finding the appropriate analgesic. How wrong we were.

It was pure fluke that David ended up in the hospital on Friday, despite my hassling that he not wait for the doctor and admit himself into hospital to nip this mystery illness in the bud. His doctor had cancelled all his afternoon appointments on Friday, leaving David resigned to another weekend of pain with only the prospect of seeing the doctor on Tuesday. Out of desperation, David went to Community Medical Center and that’s when they ran the battery of tests — X-ray, CAT scan, bloodwork — and found this ‘chest mass’. That’s when David called me to break the news.

I was sitting in the sun on a cafe patio on Denman Street. My friend had just finished telling me her mother had radical surgery the day before to treat cancer.

Cancer?
CANCER?

While this was still registering in my brain, the phone rang. It was David calling from the hospital in a shocked voice to say they found a 4-cm mass in his left lung. I said I would fly asap and asked him to request the hospital fax me his admission papers in case I get interrogated at the border again. (In January I was held at U.S. Customs at YVR enroute to New York and they warned me not to cross without a fiance visa.) I was on my way.

Door-to-door, it took 20 hours to reach David at the hospital. If I could have teleported myself, I would have. Instead, I packed a carry-on bag, pulled an all-nighter on Friday, and set off early Saturday morning:

05:45 - Amtrak coach to Seattle
06:30 - U.S. border officer looks at my passport, hospital papers, airline ticket, asks a few questions, lets me go (RELIEF)
09:15 - King Street station, Seattle
09:30 - Krisanne drives me to SeaTac airport (THANK-YOU KRISANNE!)
10:00 - SeaTac is chaotic
10:40 - FINALLY get my boarding pass, security is a mess
11:00 - AA 198 to New York is delayed by 1/2 hour
12:15 - we finally get off the ground
20:40 - arrive at JFK
21:00 - JFK’s AirTrain to MTA metro station
21:30 - subway into Manhattan
22:15 - arrive at Port Authority
22:30 - buy coach ticket to Scranton
23:00 - Martz Trailways coach to Scranton
01:15 - (Sunday) arrive at coach station, Scranton (deserted except for a rabbit)
01:30 - taxi to CMC
01:40 - arrive at CMC, get cleared through security
01:45 - finally see David
02:15 - sent away from CMC, I take the car and go home, greeted by a very confused cat.

The whole journey to get here gave me a lot of time to think things through, as did David. Thankfully we don’t fear the same things, so we can support each other in times of trepidation. If we had the same fears, we’d be quite useless to each other in a crisis.

It reminds me of when we were in Toronto a month ago, when I couldn’t step out onto the glass floor at the CN Tower. David walked right out onto the floor, finding the whole experience initially scary but overall quite thrilling. I, on the other hand, was wracked with vertigo and only managed to get over the feeling after he offered me his hand and I concentrated on taking a photo of our feet. He made me feel very safe. I want to do the same for him.

I would be remiss if I did not admit that we both put on a ‘brave face’ when the circumstances call for it. In this case, I’d call David’s first entry about his condition a little too upbeat for how he’s been feeling. The truth is he’s been enduring pain symptomatic to enlarged lymph nodes but treated incorrectly by antibiotics, and the pain has been escalating. He’s been taking medication to get through the day and functioning on little sleep because of the constant, spreading pain and nightly fevers. I didn’t know the extent of his condition because we were three time zones apart and seemed to lack opportunity for quality conversation and meaningful discussion. There was just so much in the way, not to mention 4,000 kms. Being together has helped us both tremendously.

Now that the biopsy appears to confirm what David researched about lymphoma and what the doctors believe it to be, we can think more positively while we await the full results of the cell samples. Then, the next hurdle is to find a course of treatment that is the most effective and with minimum discomfort. He’s suffered enough already, and the toxins released into his body by the offending tumour won’t subside until it’s taken care of.

We’re not uncrossing our fingers just yet.

So, how was your weekend? I think I need a weekend from the weekend, if you know what I mean.

The weather in Vancouver was nothing short of summery goodness, and I got a bit too much of that yesterday — I came away with a bit of a sunburn. I didn’t really notice it until late last night, feeling itchy-scratchy on my arms and neck. Come to think of it, I should be so lucky I didn’t roast to a crisp as I was at the New Westminster Show and Shine car show for probably 4.5 hours or so, and most of that time was spent under full-strength summer rays. Needless to say, I was engrossed in photo-taking, evidence to go online later.

I’m still uploading photos from the Illuminares festival at Trout Lake from Saturday night, which was a gorgeous display of sights, lights, and sound, but a photographic challenge for my Canon A80 and no tripod. Photos thus far can be found here. The good weather beckoned the crowds, and I bumped into a few Vandigicammers there, notably jmv and his sister jankochan. There was also a Tzatziki-spotting. I thought I’d bump into the large Vandigicam group somewhere around the lake, but I was snap-happy all evening, absorbed, and not there long before it got dark. Apparently Ciao’s phone was on the fritz, so I wasn’t able to reach him. Next thing I knew the fireworks went off over the lake, it was 11 o’clock, and I was getting chilled so time to head home.

It was a long day: volunteering at the hostel from 9-12 with Elena (a feisty Czech lady masquerading as a senior citizen, what a sweetheart), a quick lunch with Eliza before crashing hard for a much-needed nap before the annual HI BBQ at Jericho, then hoofing it east to Trout Lake to try and catch a dance performance by one of the Vandigicam people.

I was at the BBQ longer than I’d expected to be, and amazingly I didn’t even take any photos. By the time I got there I was ready to eat a picnic table, and made several rounds to the buffet. The guys standing at the BBQs should’ve given me a frequent flyer card, or just handed me the tongs. I *love* HI for being so good to their volunteers — every year we eat like kings. I was in a deep food coma from the sheer gluttony at the BBQ, which probably accounted for the seemingly slow trip to the Broadway Skytrain station.

Slept like a rock (do rocks sleep?) on Saturday night; yesterday morning came all too quickly. The plan was to meet Cliff and other Vandigicam people at the New Westminster Show and Shine at 11ish, but I arrived closer to 12:30 and found myself surrounded by a bevy of classic cars just begging to have their photos taken. I’m no car buff, but I appreciate good design in all things, and automobiles are no exception. I also had an ulterior motive for visiting the car show: to see if I could find a classic car for the reception on October 8. The next question was, could I rent it?

1942 Cadillac Imperial limousine, unrestored

I FOUND IT! A 1942 Cadillac Imperial limousine, in original condition.

I just spoke to the owner, Alan Cruickshank, who privately owns 27 classic cars. This automobile belonged to the governor of California at the time, and Mrs. Cruickshank told me yesterday that they have no plans to restore it — a paint job would be $10,000! She said they don’t want it to be a business; I got the impression they are just car collectors who rent them out to pay for maintenance costs. It sounds like the bulk of the rentals are for films — Robert de Niro is in their car’s photo album! (I think that was a big selling point with me!)

There were a few other cars I liked at the show (photos to be uploaded to Flickr later today), but this one was my favourite. They also have a similar 1940 Cadillac limo, but I don’t think we’ll need it. Which is good, because it’s booked that day — for a film, I think he said. One reason why I like this car is because it doesn’t look like a limousine, it just looks like a vintage car. I’ve never seen one like it, and he said there are only four of them around — two down south and one in Pennsylvania! Maybe if I can track it down, we can use it! (Ah, if only that were likely…)