Fave | Gail at Large Fave | traveller, photographer, aviation enthusiast

‘Fave’ Category

My Toronto Fifth Anniversary

March 3, 2011 by Gail

On the eve of my fifth anniversary in Toronto I took my camera out to Nathan Phillips Square after work to photograph City Hall and think about where five years has taken me.

It’s no secret that I landed in Toronto because of circumstances out of my control, but as for the reasons why I’ve stayed here — those I’ve kept mostly to myself.

Trying to build a future after considerable loss doesn’t happen overnight. I arrived on March 3, 2006 feeling very distressed, angry, and alone. It wasn’t a good start here. I was widowed, jobless, and homeless at 33. In my scouting trip to Toronto in February 2006, I took the first apartment I looked at because I needed an address to get repatriated, to receive OHIP (health care), a driver’s license, import my car, automobile insurance, put an address on my CV, and satisfy the agents at the U.S. border when I returned to Pennsylvania that I was actually moving to Toronto so they wouldn’t deport me before the 87 days had passed.

From the time that I arrived here, Toronto’s been testing my mettle. It’s been five tumultuous, rollercoaster years. I had to make decisions I didn’t want to make. I had to redefine my goals. I had to redefine myself. This took a lot of time, but moreover it has taken a great deal of effort, perseverance, and patience. I’m a lot greyer now. But I’m still here, despite many impulses to move back west (especially during the winter!).

Sometimes it’s easy to dwell on the hardships, but I’ve been celebrating the successes and learning from the failures, too. I maintain this website in part to record everything as a reminder of everything I’ve managed to accomplish by myself.

My areas of focus in the past five years have been: Work. Travel. Volunteer. Learn.

WORK

It was a miracle I made it through Year One, but I secured a good job four months later with the government that people thought I was crazy to leave in February 2008, the end of Year Two. I knew there were better things in store for me, work-wise, but it wasn’t until Year Four that I decided to take the plunge and do something completely different and rather scary: part-time employment and part-time freelance, in two completely different industries.

Year Five has been a whole new world of work, which introduced me to a whole new world of illness. (Hello pneumonia!) My immune system has taken a beating from the stress of a new part-time job on Bay Street and shooting 12 weddings, eight engagement and portrait shoots, plus other gigs over the past year. Not since a decade ago when I was a full-time employee taking university classes at night for 36 months in a row have I worked this much and been this sleep-deprived. This is the downside of starting over: the climb to altitude and cruising speed. Trying to reach a level where it’s manageable. I have no illusions about the amount of work it takes to build a reputation in a city where I’m a relative newcomer and don’t have the usual school, family, and work connections that other photographers do.

TRAVEL

In the past five years I’ve visited six new countries: Cuba, Iceland, Morocco, Norway, Slovakia, and Barbados. Which for me isn’t a lot, except see the previous section about Work.

Since 2006 I also visited eight countries I’d been to before: Germany, the Netherlands, Spain, France, England, Italy, Austria, and of course the USA. In 2007 I finally made it to Halifax, my furthest city east in Canada. I also flew west to Vancouver (quite a lot in 2008, 2+ months all in) and Chicago, and south to Atlanta, Orlando, San Francisco, and Oakland. (I also took a flight to Boston and one to New York, but I prefer to drive those distances versus the hassle of hub-and-spoke flying.)

In the past five years, I drove 68,000+ miles / 108,800+ kilometers. Most of that alone. That’s an average of 13.6 thousand miles or 21.76 thousand kilometers per year, and that’s all for recreation, not work. The road trips included Quebec City (x2), Montreal (x3), Ottawa (x4), Massachusetts (x2), Maine, Philadelphia (x5?), New York City (x??), all over upstate New York and Long Island, rural Pennsylvania, southwestern Ontario, and places off the beaten track. In five years the car’s broken down in upstate New York, west of Toronto twice, and I blew the tires in Pennsylvania, but KNOCK ON WOOD I’ve had no accidents and I’ve always been able to get help pretty quickly through my auto club membership roadside assistance.

In Year Five I flew less and road-tripped more: Quebec City (April), Vancouver and PA/NY (May), Barbados (June), cottage trip to the Muskokas (July), Boston and Ottawa (August), Portland (Maine) and Fire Island (NY) in September, Montreal and Ottawa (October), New York City (November), Pennsylvania and Vancouver and Syracuse (NY) in December, and Oakland at the end of January.

Sadly, the one major area that has been sacrificed by my current priorities has been aviation, which sat on the backburner in Year Five, not for lack of interest but lack of time. Again, see Work section.

VOLUNTEER

Since 2008, I’ve volunteered for The Brides’ Project, a local non-profit that supports cancer charities by selling donated wedding dresses to the public. I donated my own wedding dress on October 1, 2008, which would’ve been my third anniversary. Last month, my dress was sold to a lovely woman who, in a striking coincidence, will be getting married on my birthday this year.

In Year Five, I began volunteering directly for the Canadian Cancer Society by driving cancer patients to treatments and doctors appointments. Every year I’ve participated in and raised money for either the Terry Fox Foundation or the Canadian Cancer Society’s Relay For Life.

LEARN

Crikey, where do I start with this one… who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? If the dog wants to learn, there will be new tricks! I’ve taught myself how to use software, various cameras, and new equipment. I’ve had to speak on camera, in groups, and sell myself to clients. I’ve had to negotiate, draft, and improvise. I’ve been to many nerve-wracking job interviews, dealt with difficult people, and work in environments with Type-A personalities. I calm people down on their wedding day. I’ve shot a wedding around TV crews, filming a reality show.

With every new experience, I build up my skill set and confidence.

Since 2006 I’ve taken part in two cancer-related research studies, two grief research studies, and one study examining women and self-image. All were very interesting, but the self-image study has been a revelation. Between the interviews, focus group, and reading the transcripts and summary, I could see what a difference my interests made in my outlook on life and how the passion for these activities motivated me to better myself. It’s one thing to be aware of it in my head, but to see it in print really drove it home.

I was mulling over the past five years in Toronto as I took photos of people skating at Nathan Phillips Square. I watched skaters of all ages, skill levels, confidence levels, shapes and sizes go by. Some whizzed past. Some hung on to other people. Some went backwards, in circles, spins. Some inched across the ice. There was falling and getting back up again. It takes practice to stay on your feet. That’s the thing: it doesn’t matter how slow you go or if you lack finesse or rent your skates, you can still get across to the other side on your own power. Don’t give up!

Previous in series

Category Fave, Gail at Large, Toronto, Travel, Widowhood, Working Life | Tags: | 1 Comment
Caster Cats 1 Mice Invaders 0

November 16, 2010 by Gail

I arrived home today to find a wee present in the form of a dead mouse in the hallway, courtesy of the Caster cats… which one did the actual deed I will never know, though I suspect it was Xena, while Beano’s hanging close here for the assist. It may have been a tag team effort, but regardless, the mouse didn’t stand a chance with these two bored and housebound creatures ready for some sporting action.

One for the home team!

When I first moved here halfway through 2007, I heard mice during that first summer but never saw them or their leavings. For the nearly three years that I’ve had Xena and Beano, I never heard mice at all and I figured the mere presence of cats kept the mice at bay. This mouse was either very brave or very stupid to show its little face, because now he’s got a one-way ticket to the city compost in the morning. I let the Caster cats play around with it for a while first since rigor mortis hadn’t set in yet and Xena, especially, was ever so proud of her little trophy, batting it around like a hacky-sack. Beano, on the other hand, looked like he didn’t have a clue about what to do with it.

I imagine their conversation going something like this:

Xena: “Slacker. Why do I end up doing all the work?”
Beano: “Lay off, Slobbermouth, I’m old.”
Xena: “Apparently you’re not too old to hog the food bowl.”
Beano: “The Human keeps making me puke with those injections. I have to keep my weight up.”
Xena: “You know, if you weren’t so lazy you could catch a mouse and eat that instead.”
Beano: “You catch ONE MEASLY MOUSE and suddenly you’ve invented the litter box. What do I need to catch mice for if The Human puts food out for us twice a day? Do I LOOK like a moron?”
Xena: “Yes.”
Beano: “Uhhh, hell-OOOOO…”

Category Critters + Creatures, Fave, Xena & Beano | Tags: | 4 Comments
On Why Bigger Isn’t Necessarily Better

January 20, 2010 by Gail

When people talk to me about buying a digital camera, there’s one point I stress more than anything else:

Do not let the number of MPs (megapixels) convince you that the camera is better.

Sales people will try and impress you with numbers because most people don’t know what those numbers mean. I’m convinced that many sales people don’t know what those numbers mean, either, but since the MPs are stamped right there on the camera, they will try and tell you more is better in the hopes that you’ll believe them. Don’t believe them!

Here’s a pretty good article that showed up in my Twitter stream that explains why the megapixel count is more than a marketing ploy, it is a scam:

The Great Megapixel Swindle: An Example:
http://petavoxel.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/mp-swindle-example/

Let me give you my own example, comparing two cameras, one with a low megapixel count and one with a high megapixel count. (As you can see by the side-by-sides above, the cameras have slightly different aspect ratios, but it won’t affect the argument, which is megapixels overall.)

This was shot in Iceland with the Pentax K100D, my first DSLR, which I sold last spring (reluctantly, because I loved that camera — the straight-out-of-the-camera JPEGs were great). It is an entry-level 6.1MP DSLR, with a maximum resolution size of 3008×2000 pixels. It was a sunny day, the ISO was relatively low (200), and the focus was for the entire landscape (infinity) so everything should be in focus. Click on the picture to view it at full resolution in a new window.

Exposure: 0.001 sec (1/1000)
Aperture: f/5.6
Focal Length: 33 mm
ISO Speed: 200
Image Width: 3000
Image Height: 2000

Now, here’s a photo taken by my brother, Allan, in Vancouver with his Canon G10, which is a point-and-shoot with a whopping 14.7 MPs. It wasn’t shot at max resolution (4416×3312 pixels) — which is another beef about marketing, and I’ll get to that in a bit — but the important point is that it was shot at a resolution GREATER than the 1st photo, specifically 3753×2814, or 17.55% bigger. Ignore the colours and contrast, just look at the sharpness and detail. Click on the pic to view it large in a new window.

Note that the ISO (or film speed) is 80, which means the sensitivity is lower and therefore the noise level should be lower than the Iceland shot, for which an ISO of 200 was used. In basic terms, the Iceland shot should theoretically be grainier, or “noisier”, than the Vancouver shot. The Vancouver photo was taken at half the shutter speed of the Iceland photo, but 1/500 is still fast and there should be no shake.

Exposure: 0.002 sec (1/500)
Aperture: f/4.5
Focal Length: 30.5 mm
ISO Speed: 80
Image Width: 3753
Image Height: 2814

I’ve sliced away some parts of both photos to do another side-by-side at 100% (Iceland left, Vancouver right):

See the difference? Which do you find grainier? The Vancouver photo on the right side was shot by the 14.7MP Canon G10, which is more than double the MPs of the Pentax K100D at 6.1MPs on the left side. Now, part of the difference in quality is the lens glass. I am fairly certain that I took the Iceland photo with my Pentax kit lens, the 18-55mm, and a kit lens is the lowliest of all lenses in a brand line. Kit lenses aren’t always terrible, but it’s comparable in quality to the stock stereo you get with your car — for the average person it’s bearable, but people who enjoy music are going to replace it, anyway. On a camera, a kit lens is soon to be replaced, too.

The major factor in the difference is the sensor. If you were to go and read the sensor specs for both cameras, this is what you’ll find:

Canon G10: 1/1.7-inch type Charge Coupled Device (CCD), which is 7.17 mm x 5.31 mm
Pentax K100D: 23.5mm x 15.7mm CCD sensor

Now here is where size does matter! As you can see, the Pentax K100D has a much bigger sensor than the Canon G10 — around 3x bigger. DSLR lenses are bigger because their chip sensors are bigger. It is the one of the reasons why point-and-shoot cameras are more compact, even with a zoom, because it requires less glass to bring light to that little sensor. When companies try and cram more pixels into a small sensor, it actually reduces the quality of the photo.

This article by digitalcamerainfo.com puts it this way:

Fitting more megapixels in the same small amount of physical space means that all the receptor sites on the sensor must be smaller, which means that each site has less light hitting it. Less light per pixel means images that are less clear and sharp.

However, between two different manufacturers making CCDs that are the same size, there’s no way to know which produces better-quality photos using spec numbers because they use different computations when capturing and processing pixels. At that point it is a qualitative difference rather than quantitative. The only way to compare is to compare their photos, and that’s where personal preferences come in. But if you compare any DSLR to any point-and-shoot, the DSLR will always come out on top when the photos are displayed larger — because of the sensor, and because of the glass.

What’s that beef you were talking about?

I mentioned that Allan didn’t take that Vancouver shot at full resolution, which is what I was hoping for in my example. Actually, I couldn’t find any Canon G10 photos in his Flickr collection taken at full resolution. This is actually very common, and most people don’t think about it when they buy a point-and-shoot: if megapixels are such a good thing, why don’t people take advantage of them?

For one thing, the file sizes are way too large. My Nikon D300 is a 12.3MP camera, and the largest photo I can make is 4288×2848 pixels with a JPEG-format file size of around 4-8MBs (depending on what I’m shooting) and that’s plenty. (My RAW files are much bigger, at 9-12MBs.) Why would a point-and-shoot, with a sensor roughly a third of the size, need more pixels than a DSLR if it can only capture a third of the detail? Because it’s a gimmick! You’d never email a full-size snapshot around, and it’s far too big for a web page, Facebook, or any social media site. That size is really useless unless you’re considering enlarging it to hang over your fireplace.

Which brings me to my next point: you’d never want to enlarge a point-and-shoot snapshot, anyway, because even at the size I showed you, which is probably at least 75% of its resolution capacity, it has purple fringing and artifacts. You can barely make out the trees on the mountains. The level of detail is less than ideal; the cost of enlargement would not be worthwhile. The shot itself is good, the colours are set to vivid (that can be toned down in Photoshop), but the detail can’t be increased because Canon’s sensor is too small. It’s about pixel quality, not quantity.

But what about the price?

When you take away the bulk of the DSLR, there’s usually a gripe about the price versus a compact camera. It’s true, they can be pricey, but if you’re an amateur or a beginner, the prices of entry-level DSLRs are actually lower than the higher-end compact cameras. Using the same cameras in my example, I bought my Pentax K100D in May 2007 for about US$500, including the Pentax SMC-DA 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 kit lens. The Canon G10′s suggested retail price today is US$500. Which means that if you scout for a used Pentax K100D on Craigslist right now, you could probably get one with the kit lens for about half of what the Canon G10 costs currently, and make better-quality photos for much cheaper.

I try and tell people that for the cost of the new compact cameras, they could invest in an entry-level DSLR and even get a lens, but I think people are reluctant to learn how to use a DSLR. I would be willing to teach ANYBODY how to use their DSLR, if that would convince them to make the move.

It’s not that I dislike compact cameras or even Canon, not at all. In fact I owned Canon compact digitals for five years (2002-2007) before I bought my first DSLR, which was a Pentax. I still recommend Pentax for its value, especially for entry-level users. My current DSLR is a Nikon. (As you can see, I’m not particularly brand loyal. There is no need to be except that switching an entire system is expensive due to the lenses and bodies being incompatible between brands; each brand has strengths and weakness across all their lines.)

I learned composition on compacts, which is an important skill regardless of equipment. I still shoot with compacts on occasion, for video and some snapshots. I think it’s very possible to take decent photos with point-and-shoots if the settings are used properly (and displayed small so their flaws don’t show), and I have actually sold photos taken by compacts. But the newer point-and-shoot models mystify most people because they have a lot of bells and whistles. Nobody likes to read the manual (I generally don’t, either, I only use them as reference tools but usually I go online), but the manuals are written by technical writers and they don’t tell you how to take a good photo, they only tell you about settings and specs.

I think this is the longest post I’ve ever written on the subject of photography, but I wanted to take the time to write it out because photographic equipment at the average consumer level is rife with confusion and misleading information. People are bombarded with features that they don’t understand. At a professional level, sales people have less sway with buyers because pros have the technical knowledge and a more watchful eye on the industry. Professionals are pickier about their equipment and view it as a business investment. However, the consumer market is big money and companies like Nikon, Canon, Sony, Olympus, Panasonic, Samsung, Pentax, Casio, Kodak, Konica, and all the rest sell point-and-shoots every day to people who don’t know what to look for in a camera. If you want to compare them, I suggest the side-by-side comparison table feature over at DPReview.com’s buying guide section. There are also comprehensive reviews if you want to go more in-depth, and summary-length versions of the reviews if you just want to get their rating.

My recommendation is to do all your research before you walk into the camera store, then try out a few cameras that are your top picks to see how they feel in your hands, if the controls are in logical places, and if the way you would use it requires digging around in menus versus the settings at your fingertips. Better yet: borrow them from friends or let your friends show you their cameras. It’s also a good idea to read some reviews and ratings, but ultimately, you should look at the photos you already take — portraits? low light? action? landscapes? — and base your search criteria on the style of your shooting rather than gimmicky things like megapixels and dozens of “modes” (eg. snow mode, beach mode, museum mode). Hmmm… I’m getting into another topic (buying), so I’d better stop here.

And if I’ve confused you even more, I take full responsibility and welcome any questions to clear it up!

Category Consumer, Fave, Other Photogs, Photography, Unabashed Geekiness | Tags: | 7 Comments
David’s Birthday Weekend In PA: The Recap

June 9, 2009 by Gail

The weekend of May 29-31 was, in a word, BRILLIANT. All missions were accomplished, and then some. (Makes me want to pun the title: The ReCAP.)

Thursday: arrived at Helma’s, was fed heartily (as always!)
Friday: met with Executor, picked up David’s flight bag, went to Mona’s house
Saturday: went to temple for David’s yizkor, lunch with Helma, then Mona’s house for birthday dinner
Sunday: went flying with Alan, Helma’s house, then Mona’s before driving home

I originally wanted to fly on Friday, but the weather was pretty foul so I opted for an impromptu meeting with the Executor. To have David’s flight bag back and finally wear our headsets again was a great feeling! It seems a bit silly to get attached to something as nondescript as a headset, but if you’ve been reading this website for more than a few years you’ll have seen the scores of flying photos and videoclips I shot with us squeezed shoulder-to-shoulder in our little Tri-Pacer cockpit, David wearing his light green David Clarks and me wearing my Red Barons. These are very fond memories for me, and just seeing that bag again triggered the anticipation of flying adventures and made my heart leap a little.

But my main purpose of this particular birthday trip, 42 years after David entered this world, was to visit his mother. We spent most of three days together, talking about David as a baby, a little boy, his childhood, bar mitzvah, all the way through school, college, married life, learning to fly, Civil Air Patrol, working life, our lives together, and his last days. Mona filled blanks for me, and I filled in blanks for her. It was dizzying how much we covered in one weekend, but I’m convinced this was the best thing that could’ve happened on May 30, 2009.

I went to Temple Israel on Saturday and attended the entire service, from beginning to end. There were three items on the agenda: David’s birthday, yizkor, and shavuot. When I arrived I sat at the back, and the rabbi — in mid-service — came all the way down from the front and greeted me. I have to say, this really made an impression! The rabbi and I last met in 2005, at Mercy Hospital and the hospice, and he remembered me.

I took away many ideas from that service, but perhaps the one that stood out the most was that of celebrating the life of the person(s) we’ve lost. (more…)

Category Fave, Flying, House of Fielding, Loss | Tags: | 3 Comments
Flashback Friday: Red Lipstick and Bangs

March 27, 2009 by Gail

I have a million stories from my one year in Banff and my first time to live away from home, which made it difficult to select which photos to scan for today out of the Banff albums. I didn’t have much time, so I picked a couple where I wouldn’t launch into a very long accompanying story.

Thankfully I had the foresight back then to write dates and names on most of the prints. There is no way I’d retain all that info after 18 YEARS. Wow, can this photo really be 18 years old?? This is me at 18: gawdy red lipstick and awkward bangs (or “fringe” depending on where you’re from). Yikes.

February 1991
Banff Rocky Mountain Resort staff accommodation

Simon LeComte was a huge French-Canadian guy, at least 6’5″. He’d work out in the gym and I’d have to reset all the equipment after he was done with it. Wouldn’t harm a flea, though, he was a gentle giant from what I could recall. Staff accommodation resembled a university dormitory — everyone hung out in everyone else’s rooms. I’m sure this wasn’t mine — I was too bashful to own such a scandalous-looking calendar of beefcakes.

I did, however, develop an attachment to red lipstick and bangs to cover my forehead and eyebrows because I hadn’t figured out tweezers yet. When I first arrived in Banff in September 1990 (a story in itself), I got a job on the first day as a housekeeper at Banff Rocky Mountain Resort. I stubbornly wore makeup every single day (I can hardly believe I gave up precious morning sleep to tend to my face), and one of the other housekeepers later told me that for days she thought I was a guest. Until she saw me carry a vacuum.

Two months later I got a job as a sports facility attendant at the same resort. I still wore makeup most days, even though I spent most of my shift playing squash. What a waste of makeup!

July 30, 1991
“Buffalo Paddock”
Cascade Inn, Banff

I’d organised a big beach volleyball tournament for all hotel and bar/restaurant staff working in Banff, which sucked much of my free time leading up to the event. Man, was I ever glad when it was all over. I developed conjunctivitis (“pink eye”) in one eye, too, but you can’t tell. I think after numerous kegs we all had bloodshot eyes, anyway, and I blended right in. I was later informed that the post-tournament party drank the ENTIRE town dry that night.

Category Ancient History, Fave, Gail at Large, Other Photogs, Raconteurism | Tags: Banff,Flashback Friday | 2 Comments
Year In Review: 2007

January 7, 2009 by Gail

I’ve been sitting on the 2007 review for a year, but it’s time to release it into the wild so I can finish my review of 2008. I was working on the 2007 review just after New Year 2008, but then Arliin passed away, the cats moved in, I had to learn how to inject Beano, my last day at my government job arrived, and I became preoccupied with figuring out my employment situation.

Life was a little topsy-turvy at the beginning of 2008, but then the rest of the year TOOK OFF like a galloping horse. But, I’m getting ahead of myself — back to 2007. First:

Last October I was driving back from New York City, and I mentioned writing a ‘Year in Review’ while in conversation with one of my passengers (who I’d just met a few hours before). She commented that she didn’t do anything of the sort, that she didn’t believe in looking into the past, she only looked forward. I was a bit taken aback. “What about goals?” I asked. “How do you know if you’ve made any progress if you don’t review what you’ve done? What if a goal is long-term?”

Writing in this website has been very useful to me in terms of keeping track of myself. I believe in setting goals — a mix of short-term, long-term, easily-attainable, and relatively large-scale — but part of the plan is measuring and benchmarking in some way. Some things aren’t quantifiable or measurable, sure, but if I want to become a better photographer, for example, how on earth will I know I’m better if I don’t look back at my old photos? How will I know if I travel more if I don’t actually count vehicle mileage or boarding passes? How would I know if I wrote more or less this year if I didn’t compare my publishing stats? Perceptions are one thing, stats may say otherwise.

While I don’t think it’s necessary to share all my goals with the world wide web, I think it’s a morale booster to share the personal victories and accomplishments, whether large or small. There are hard times in every calendar year, but there is always something worth celebrating and there are always lessons to be learned from new experiences, taking personal risks, stacking up the gains against the losses.

I’ll probably add to this, but here’s the 2007 list for now, in no particular order:

(more…)

Category Fave, Gail at Large | Tags: | 2 Comments
I’ve Got This Corner Covered

May 9, 2007 by Gail

I think this picture looks better a little larger.

Part of my Lunchwalk Series, which I’ve been trying to restart. Work has been exceptionally busy, and I often eat lunch at my desk now. But today I had to drop off some dry cleaning, so I took the opportunity to shoot some photos while I was out.

When I saw this man on the street corner, I just had to take his photo. I put some money in his tin can and asked permission to photograph. He was fine with it, but I also tried feebly to communicate to him that I would return the following day with his photo as a print. I don’t know if he understood what I said, but I printed out the pictures to take to him, anyway. I sure hope he’s at the corner again — I’d like to see what his reaction is like (and take a photo of that, too!).

Category Fave, Photography | Tags: | 5 Comments
Post No Bills

March 27, 2007 by Gail

A second picture from my lunch walk series that I started a week ago. I haven’t made a set yet, ’cause there are only two pics so far. Haven’t taken any lunch walk photos this week, which will have to be remedied soon. Today’s weather was brilliant and warm — around 20C! (68F!) — but I took lunch hour to attend a bargaining unit meeting a short walk away and didn’t take my bag, or my camera. I felt a bit lost without the camera.

* * * * * * * * *

Whenever I see the notice ‘Post No Bills’, I think of my friend Eden Aminoffe, from Israel. I lost touch with him after he visited me in Edinburgh and I hope he’s alright. I wonder because the last time I was able to reach him, Eden was still completing his required military service, something he’d been avoiding by travelling as far away as he could. Our paths crossed in Queensland, Australia, which is about as far away as an Israeli can run from conscription and a home life which included Orthodox (with-a-capital-O) parents. After hearing from him what that meant, I know I’d probably run away, too.

Both of us were working under the table, but it was much more obvious that Eden was illegal because Australia and Israel had no reciprocal agreements for working holidays, while it was common knowledge that Canadians could obtain working holiday visas. I didn’t have one, but it was assumed I did.

Eden and I were both in the same boat regarding money — we were skint, flat broke, didn’t have any. If we wanted to keep travelling we had to work illegally, or get out. (Possibly both, by getting deported.) We had to be careful, and careful with money. So we worked out this arrangement where we would pay for one bed in a hostel by working and sleeping at different times. When Eden was filling out employment applications, he gave the number of our hostel and I would, as “Eden”, pick up his messages for him. Eden would sneak into the hostel at odd hours and sneak back out again when the coast was clear. I can’t remember how long we kept up this charade, but I don’t think it was for more than a month or so because I found a way to live even more cheaply: commune-style, in a tent near the beach.

Eden continued to board at the hostel but we still spent a great deal of time together while trying to stay under the immigration radar. We were so young and naive, both of us fairly fresh from a conservative upbringing. We had NO IDEA what we were doing. We went to our first rave together and even secured some, er, rave materials beforehand. Not five minutes in the club Eden turned to me.

“Do you feel anything?”
“No. Do you feel anything?”
“Nothing.”
“Did we just buy aspirin?”

To give you some idea of how clueless I was at the time, the thought never even crossed my mind that Eden might be gay. It’s not that it would matter either way, it was more the fact that we were always together and the subject never came up. I guess we were too busy with more pressing matters like trying not to get deported and how quickly we could save up to go to New Zealand. I didn’t find out until about a year and a half later, when I was living in Edinburgh and Eden was back in Israel.

I was half asleep sitting on a bus on my way to a mindnumbingly dull job doing data entry at the Royal Bank of Scotland, and I’d picked up a letter from Eden as I was going out the door. In his dramatically expressive way (how could I not know he was gay?), Eden had written in big, bold letters a few words on each page. He always wrote in big letters when he was excited.

I HAVE SOME
*page flip*
BIG NEWS FOR
*page flip*
YOU, GAIL, I AM
*flip!*
F$%*ING GAY!!
*flip!* (loud page turn)
???
*flip*flip* (now people on the bus around me are craning their necks to read)
I AM COMING TO VISIT YOU!

Eden always had a way of spicing up my often colourless days at the bank by writing such letters for me to read on the bus, but this one was particularly dramatic. He told me the part he was dreading was telling his father he was gay. Eden told me the story later in person, and I can tell you that no matter how you may feel about homosexuality, a person would not bring such wrath upon himself willingly if he didn’t have absolute conviction in its truth.

Eden went to the Reading Music Festival before coming to visit, and by the time he arrived in Edinburgh he had a thousand and one questions for me because his English was out of practice. In Australia I was his de facto English teacher only by proximity, and I knew he’d have some trouble understanding the Scots. So where did he visit next? The Fringe Festival…

I think Eden’s eyes were permanently widened after experiencing the Jim Rose Circus. I had to work that day, but came home to Eden trying to demonstrate how a man swung a lawn mower around by a cable attached to his testicles. English simply lacks the words to properly describe this.

After days of attempting to break down English (Scottish, really) into simple phrases for Eden, we were walking down the street and he pointed to a sign.

Whew, I thought. Something easy this time.

“What does ‘Post No Bills’ mean?” Eden asked.

We stopped. I burst out laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing.

“Is it funny?” Eden prompted, wanting in on the joke. “Tell me! What does it mean?”

I could barely breathe, so I pushed out the words one gasp at a time.

“I… don’t… know!”

Eden was totally confused by this, but I really didn’t know. I never considered it. Here I was, the native English speaker, and I had no idea what it meant because all I could think of was “post” meaning “mail” and “bills” meaning what the Brits call “notes”. After living in Australia and learning Queen’s English the hard way (by being made fun of) and then living in Scotland, I’d been mixing up all the vernaculars and cultural references in my head and ended up with a sentence I’d seen a million times but couldn’t make heads or tails of at all!

Eden, my friend. In the name of all that is good and true, I hope you’re still alive. Please Google your name so you can find me again and I can tell you what “Post No Bills” means. I promise I’ll even come to Tel Aviv or wherever you are and tell you in person.

Category Ancient History, Fave, Raconteurism | Tags: | 6 Comments
With Hugh

July 30, 2006 by Gail

May 27, 2006
Photo by Rachael

This was taken a couple of days before Rachael and I drove down to Pennsylvania and New York to scatter David’s ashes.

Life’s been rough in 2006, but it feels rougher than ever now that Hugh is gone. He made the transition from my former life in Pennsylvania to my current life in Ontario easier because I never felt completely alone. We were the remaining two members of the House of Fielding, and we would stick together through thick and thin. Recently I cancelled family trips — a road trip to Maine and a flight to Vancouver — because I wasn’t comfortable leaving Hugh with a catsitter after his recent trips to the vet.

“Hugh’s in his twilight years,” I said to someone. “I have to make sure he’s alright.”

(more…)

Category Critters + Creatures, Fave, Hugh, Loss | Tags: | 18 Comments
Steamtown, Scranton

July 29, 2006 by Gail

October 2, 2004
Music: “Allentown” by Billy Joel
Length: 3:45

This video is part of a project that’s coming along very, very slowly. The CD** of David’s music that I compiled to hand out at his memorial on December 28 has a list of 14 songs. I plan to use all 14 songs as soundtracks for videoclips I’ve shot and edited, and so far I’ve completed seven* (Biplane Evermore is just an mp3 with a photo, not a video), shown in bold and linked to the videos hosted on YouTube.

Flight | David Lee Fielding

1. To Be By Your Side | Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds | 4:04
2. Allentown | Billy Joel | 3:48
3. Come Fly With Me | Frank Sinatra | 3:18
4. Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines | Ron Goodwin | 2:36
5. The Biplane Evermore | The Irish Rovers | 2:54
6. Leaving On a Jet Plane | John Denver | 4:05
7. Fly Like An Eagle | Steve Miller Band | 3:06
8. Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going To Be A Long, Long Time) | Elton John | 4:45
9. Mr. Blue Sky | Electric Light Orchestra | 5:08
10. Blackbird | The Beatles | 2:20
11. Jet Airliner | Steve Miller Band | 3:37
12. Treetop Flyer | Jimmy Buffet | 5:52
13. Fly Me to the Moon | Frank Sinatra | 2:32
14. Solace | Westwind Brass | 2:56

I took the train clips overlooking the Steamtown Historical Site on the second day of the weekend David and I met.

I chose “Allentown” as the second track (one of the only ones not related to aviation) because David was born there, he was a huge Billy Joel fan (Joel is also a major history buff), and he loved trains. David’s last project was working on his model railroad and I named it “Fieldingville”.

(more…)

Category Fave, Music, Videoclips | Tags: | 6 Comments

Older Entries

February 2012
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
« Jan
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29

‘Fave’ Category

Flight | David Lee Fielding