After work I took the subway WAYYYYYY up north to Sheppard (only my second time that far on the TTC) to catch a screening of the film Mad Money at the Sheppard Centre Cineplex.

Never heard of it? Neither had I, but my mind was troubled and in need of some entertainment. Plus, it was free — my friend had a couple of advance screening tickets sent her way.

The crazy part about an advance screening — which I only learned today! — is the gigantic queue that forms because all bags are searched for recording devices, and those get collected into plastic baggies. Imagine the pile of mobile phones that had to get sorted through when the film was over! I heard one guy muttering, “My phone had BETTER be there…”

But what about the film? Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t check out the synopsis beforehand, otherwise I would’ve left the security queue for, um, a paid movie with higher-paid scriptwriters. Here’s a synopsis from IMDB (spoiler alerts):

Bridget Cardigan (Diane Keaton) is shocked to learn that she is on the verge of losing her home and comfortable upper middle class lifestyle when her husband Don (Ted Danson) is downsized from his job. Armed only with a decades old English degree and years as a dedicated mother and corporate wife, Bridget is forced into the unfamiliar labor market with no job skills. Finally, she accepts the only position she can find — janitor at the Federal Reserve Bank.

The one-time suburban mom soon discovers she has more in common with her new co-workers than she thought. Bridget forges an unexpected bond with Nina (Queen Latifah), a hard-working single mom with two kids to raise, and Jackie (Katie Holmes), an exuberant free spirit with nothing to lose. Caught up in a system that underestimates their talents and keeps their dreams just out of reach, Bridget, Nina and Jackie set out to even the score.

After a lifetime of playing by the rules, the three devise a plan to smuggle soon-to-be destroyed currency out of the supposedly airtight Reserve. As the unlikely crime syndicate amasses piles of cash, it looks like they have pulled off the perfect crime, until a minor misstep alerts the authorities. With more money than they know what to do with, the women are pushed to the limits of their ingenuity to stay one step ahead of the law!

David and I were of the same opinion on Diane Keaton: she plays herself, over and over. When I saw her opening scene I thought, “Does she specifically ask for the same wardrobe people on every film?” It’s bizarre.

Don’t get me wrong — the film isn’t a wash. There are definitely some amusing one-liners scattered throughout, spaced at intervals to remind you it’s a comedy. We were sitting in front of people who sounded like they really enjoyed it. But if you like comedic heist films, my (mad) money’s on a flick like Woody Allen’s Small Time Crooks (2000). And you can bring your mobile phone.