It was a “heads up” wedding announcement to our friends and family. David and I designed it together, while I was in Vancouver packing up my apartment and he was in Pennsylvania, waiting for me to come home to him.
Except for the picture of the Tri-Pacer (I think one of David’s cadets took that one), we took the photos ourselves. As one of the radiation clinic nurses said, “You guys were a team.”
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2007 has been much kinder to me than 2006, but even with all the good stuff happening to me recently, not a day goes by when I didn’t wish with every fibre of my being that I could share it with David. He was always such a great source of encouragement for me, and not having him here makes good news a little less exciting… or incomplete, somehow.
Next week I begin my 10-week program with an adult grief support group. There was no space left for the fall session, at least in the evening, so I’ve had to wait a few months. I haven’t been to counselling for a couple of months or more, but I’m looking forward to trying a small group setting. There are only 8-10 people in each group and each session lasts for two hours, so everyone should have a chance to speak. One issue I had with individual counselling is the 50-minute time limit. That time frame just didn’t seem to work for me — I felt rushed and anxious and under pressure. At least in a group setting, I don’t feel obligated to do most of the talking. As well, the counsellor/patient dynamic is very different from a peer environment, and the latter is what I need right now.
Tomorrow is my last day as an agency temp, and today when I was given my contract paperwork to fill out, there were some spouse forms included in the package. It’s been years since I received benefits, so those pages took me by surprise.
“Oh, I guess you won’t be needing those,” the administrator said, and removed them from the package.
Welcome to widowhood, I thought.
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