Canadian border
Niagara Falls, Ontario
Friday, June 2, 01:45
Canadian Border Services officer: “Where do you live?”
Me (stifling yawn): “Toronto and Vancouver.”
Officer: “How long were you in the U.S.?”
Me: “Four days.”
Officer: “What goods are you bringing back to Canada with you?”
Me: (pause) “Cat food*.” (Neither Rachael nor I bought anything.)
The officer looked away for a moment, trying to decide whether I was jerking his chain he should continue his line of questioning and pretend he didn’t hear me, or if he should probe for more absurdities and maybe poke around the car.
About 30 seconds later we were on our way, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“At least he didn’t frisk the glove compartment and find the big bottle of Hugh’s pills I can only get in the U.S. because it isn’t on the list of federally approved drugs in Canada.”
Can you imagine the delay? The explanations? After driving all day, I didn’t want to imagine.
I also didn’t want to imagine what kind of excremental mess was awaiting me at the apartment from Mister Hugh, a.k.a. The Most High-Maintenance Expat Kitty Ever. He’s got the costliest poop around.
* Hugh can only eat two kinds of food, and both must be purchased from a veterinarian. Hill’s Prescription Diet K/D (Kidney Diet) wet and dry. Every other kind, including other Prescription Diet cat food for old cats or oral care or to treat furballs, are available in pet stores but disagree with his digestive system. The wet K/D is to mix with his daily capsule, and the only kind he can generally keep down is the chicken flavour. THIS FOOD IS EXPENSIVE, and I save a bit of money if I buy it across the line. With the pills I have no choice but to order them from the compounding pharmacy in Wilkes-Barre; they’re that obscure.
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